Ever have one of those times when you misplaced something? Something you found later in a surprising place?
We all have, whether it was sunglasses left atop ones head or a remote control that found its way to the refrigerator things just turn up in the oddest places.
Well, yesterday I was putting a new rank badge on my sons Scout uniform and somehow managed to drop and lose my favorite sewing needle. I heard it clink onto the hardwood floor, so I know it made it down there.
Now my living room is not exactly a haystack, but I can confirm that missing needles are hard to find. After a good bit of looking I finally gave in and grabbed a different one, figuring the broom would catch it when we swept up.
I was, tragically, comically, and loudly wrong.
Hours have passed, clothes have been changed, scout meetings have been attended, dinner has been eaten, and the internet has been surfed. More simply put, it was time for some shut-eye.
It was dark and quiet as I slipped through the doorway and into my bedroom.
As seconds past the cold blue light of the digital alarm clock took over, painting the room with light and shadow.
I began to move across the room using all the stealth I posses (which is admittedly not much) to keep from disturbing my lovely wife. Her slow steady breathing told me I had reached the other side of the room without waking her. Thats when I made my mistake, I started to get ready for bed.
Now for me at least that involves getting out of my shoes and crawling under the covers. Using my brain for once I had gotten into my lounge pants and t-shirt hours earlier when I could use the lights. Looking forward to getting some good rest I took a silent step towards the bed….
Out of nowhere pain, size double X-L.
Crumpling into a heap I leave forth with a stream of obscenities so foul that they would curl the ear hair of Charlie Manson. As this was going on I was rolling about trying to figure out exactly who decided to booby trap my bedroom floor.
To say this was done rather loudly would be kind of like saying the sun is warm.
Launching herself up from her blissful slumber my lovely wife tries to put together whats going on. Apparently I sounded somewhat like zombies had attacked me and were trying to eat what little brains I have. (seriously zombies, don’t bring a spoon or anything. Try those snack crackers, they will work better.)
Either that or one of my limbs had just up and fallen off for no apparent reason. I suppose if it had been a leg it would explain how I went down like a sack of potatoes on grocery day.
The cursing subsides as the surprise fades, but the damage is done. She is wide awake and extremely interested in finding out exactly how I managed to injure myself simply taking three steps to get into bed. Then again I was a bit curious as well.
Feeling around where the pain told me the problem was I quickly found it.
The damn needle I had lost hours earlier on a different floor of my house was stuck all the way through one of my toes.
You heard me… all the way through.
So all the way thru that it was in fact easier to pull it the rest of the way to get it out.
Well I suppose the whole “let her sleep” thing failed miserably. Mostly succeeding in providing proof that regardless of what I can do in video games I am about as stealthy as dropping a piano on top of a bull in a china shop.
On the other hand, the tale might just be good enough for a few laughs.
I just wish I would have had a camera rolling, it was certainly a $10,000 moment.