There are times when sitting alone in a deserted office can be great.
I can plan stories, dabble in a bit of exercise, even do a little light reading.
Sometimes that silly brain of mine even gets itself all worked up over the future.
Worrying about things over which I have no control is worse than useless.
There are also times when my mind takes off on tangents that I cannot control.
Often these are a good time, like a photo album in my mind.
For instance the simple joy of going fishing with my Dad,
Somehow I always seemed to catch the biggest fish.
Sometimes they are like waking nightmares of things that have come to pass.
Ones that take me down paths I no longer want to tread.
Like racing through rising water and choking smoke,
Betting my life I can fix whatever is causing it before it kills me.
Tonight I am at the top of a hill, my past behind me, my future ahead.
Like the feeling you have in a roller coaster as it slowly approaches it peak.
That moment it sits balanced at the crest. Before gravity pulls the screamers,
Over the hill and on through the twists and turns of the rest of the ride.
Today is my day poised at the top of that hill, the last day of my 30’s.
Whether I want to or not I turn 40 tomorrow.
I am at the crest of the hill.
With any luck the best part will come after I go screaming down the other side.